Musings in a Writer’s Mind When He Should be Writing

I get a lot of strange emails. Sometimes they contain little bits of wisdom, and when they do, I file them away on my computer for future reference.

Today, I want to share some of these musings with you. Perhaps you will find them interesting. Perhaps not.

In any case, take a look. You may find something you like.

  • I had amnesia once — maybe twice.
  • I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart. Now what?
  • Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
  • All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

  • If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
  • What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
  • They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
  • Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
  • Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
  • One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.
  • My weight is perfect for my height–which varies.
  • I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not
  • How can there be self-help “groups”?
  • If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
  • Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and  I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.
  • Is it me — or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Finally, a few interesting facts that you can use to win a bet or two.

  • There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
  • There is one slot machine in Las Vegas for every eight inhabitants.
  • The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. It was the fashion in Renaissance Florence to shave them off.
  • The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad.

And this little tidbit for those of us who use keyboards.

  • The sentence “The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog.” uses every letter of the alphabet, which is why it was always used in typing tests.