A “Lexophile” is a lover of words–one who derives pleasure from the various use of words, who appreciates the nuances surrounding different words, and who is alert to synonyms, antonyms, homophones, anagrams, palindromes, and homonyms, often using them for effect, sometimes in humor. The New York Times even holds an annual competition to see who can create the best original example of a lexophile.

Actually, lexophile is not even a word–at least it is not found in any of my dictionaries, including my Merriam-Webster. That’s why you can use it as a noun to describe a person who is a lover of words as well as the sentences that a lexophile creates.

Here, for your Christmas season enjoyment, is a list of recent entries in the Times lexophile contest.

Enjoy!

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic.  It’s syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.

I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge. 

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?  He’s all right now.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.  That’s the point of it.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.