Recently, I heard the news that Iran may try to destroy California with drones.

I had to laugh at that.

Aren’t the Iranians aware that Supreme Leader Gavin Newsom and his gang of socialist Democrats have already done that?

Don’t they know that the state’s 39 million serfs, aka inhabitants, are being ruled by a political cartel of Democrat potentates who exert total control over the state, just like the tyrannical government that has existed in Tehran for the past 47 years?

In fact, for any mullah or ayatollah who may wish to escape Iran before the collapse of its teetering regime, I can suggest an ersatz land for them to inhabit.

It’s called California.

So come ahead. Bring your drones if you wish. Democrats won’t mind. They love nothing more than living in a dictatorship, especially one that they hold sway over.

Of course, I can’t guarantee that the ruling elite in Sacramento will cede all power to the ayatollahs or mullahs.

But given that Supreme Leader Newsom has his sights set on occupying the White House in 2028, perhaps a power-sharing plan can be worked out.

California’s Republicans won’t mind. In any case, they are too weak and wimpy to do anything about it anyway. They lost their will to fight decades ago when Socialist Democrats took control of the reins of power in Sacramento and booted feckless Republicans out of the capital.

I know Muslim clerics are hypersensitive about dogs, but putting California politics in canine terms, Democrats are mastiffs and Republicans are yappy chihuahuas.

So, the way to absolute power is wide open for Iran’s ayatollahs and mullahs. There is nothing to stop them.

And don’t worry about California’s 39 million cowed and downtrodden helots rising up in opposition. They have been beaten down so much and so often by the ruling socialist Democrats that they are little more than obliging androids who have been programmed to vote only for those with a “D” after their names.

They have grown accustomed to paying twice or even four times more for the staples of life, such as housing, groceries, utilities, clothing, and taxes. In 2026, living in California costs roughly 40% to 42% more than the national average. The primary driver of California’s high cost is housing, which is 98 percent higher than the national average. Then, there are areas like transportation, 30 percent higher; utilities, 34 percent higher; food and groceries, 15 percent higher; and health care, 10 percent higher.

So, the ayatollahs and mullahs can levy as many new onerous taxes, tolls, and special assessments as they want with total impunity, and they won’t hear a peep out of the great unwashed masses.

Heck, California’s peons don’t even care that they are paying an average of $1.77 more for a gallon of gas than everybody else in America. The most recent cost of a gallon of regular gas in California was $5.37, making it the most expensive state in the nation for fuel.

You may wonder why that is. Well, it’s partly due to a dramatic spike over the last week, with the price of a gallon of gas rising by more than 55 cents because of global supply disruptions caused by the ongoing U.S.-Iran conflict.

But even before that spike, a gallon of regular gas in California was $4.82. Why? California has the highest gas tax in the country—about 70 cents per gallon. The state requires a specific “cleaner” gasoline blend that is more expensive to produce and is primarily refined in-state. To make matters worse, the state’s radical environmentalists have forced the recent closures of three major refineries, thereby reducing local gas and oil supplies and forcing the state to import fuel.

California’s residents have been whipped and flogged with so many rules and regulations that they know nothing different. They will be agreeable slaves to whatever fees and taxes the ayatollahs and mullahs may want to levy.

California already has the highest top state income tax rate in the U.S. at 12.3%, and the state’s human automatons make nary a squawk about it.

When it comes to women and girls in California, which I know is a major issue among the ayatollahs and mullahs in Iran, you can be assured that women will be kept in their place.

Well, up to a point, that is.

Under California Education Code 221.5, students must be permitted to participate in sex-segregated school programs and activities, including athletic teams and competitions, consistent with their gender identity, regardless of the gender listed on their records. That means boys can compete against girls on girls’ sports teams, such as volleyball, swimming, and lacrosse.

I suspect the mullahs and ayatollahs won’t like that, though they may like this bit of accommodation to the transgender cultists.

Following much controversy in track and field, the California Interscholastic Federation (CIF) implemented a “pilot” policy. While transgender boys can still compete with girls, the CIF now awards duplicate medals to “biological female” athletes who would have placed on the podium if the transgender athlete were not in the field

But in the interest of full disclosure, I should point out that in 2025, the U.S. Department of Justice filed a lawsuit alleging California’s policies violate Title IX. Additionally, a 2025 Executive Order (“Keeping Men Out of Women’s Sports”) threatens to rescind federal funding for schools that allow biological males to compete in female sports.

On the other hand, the ayatollahs and mullahs will be happy to learn that, under California’s SAFETY Act (AB 1955), which took effect on January 1, 2025, this law bars school districts from requiring teachers to notify parents of a student’s gender identity changes without the student’s consent.

Once again, in the interest of full disclosure, this month, in a “watershed” emergency ruling, the U.S. Supreme Court blocked key parts of the SAFETY Act. The Court cleared the way for schools to notify parents of a child’s transition, ruling that the state’s policy likely violated parents’ religious freedom and due process rights.

And Iran’s ayatollahs and mullahs might not be happy to learn that, according to California Education Code 221.5, students have the right to use restrooms and locker rooms that match their gender identity. Another law, called the All-Gender Mandate (SB 760) requires all K-12 schools to provide at least one easily accessible all-gender restroom on campus.

When it comes to locker room privacy, some districts are responding to community concerns by installing private changing stalls within traditional locker rooms to accommodate all students, though they cannot legally force transgender students to use them exclusively.

So, while these laws may run afoul of strict Islamic rules regarding separation of the sexes, don’t forget you and your social Democrat cronies have total control of the state legislature, so you can brute force any new laws regarding women and girls that you want—including requiring them to wear hijabs to cover their hair.

And as for those drones I hear you may be thinking about sending California’s way, I urge you to rethink your plans.

Might I suggest an alternative? I suggest sending those drones to Washington or Oregon—or both. They are also on America’s West Coast.

As poorly run as those two states are, they are still in better shape than California, with its empty reservoirs, pot-holed streets, gridlocked freeways, thousands of homeless encampments,

and high-profile retail theft and property crimes.

Did I mention affordability? Yes, I think I did. Nevertheless, affordability is the top concern for Californians, with 65% citing housing costs as a major issue and 87% worried about the price of food. Economic forecasts for 2026 project essentially no net job gains and rising unemployment (5.6%).

And what is California’s Supreme Leader, Newsom, doing about it? Newsom’s proposed 2026-27 budget prioritizes fiscal discipline, aiming to build state reserves to $23 billion to buffer against federal cuts and a cooling economy. Where will he get the money for this? Why, by raising taxes on (you guessed it) gasoline and a few other items.

He is even considering creating a Vehicle Miles Traveled (VMT) fee, under which people who drive may be charged for each mile driven.  California sees the VMT as a potential long-term replacement for the gas tax. As more Californians switch to electric vehicles, revenue from the gas tax (which funds road repairs) is declining. State officials estimate a $31 billion transportation funding shortfall over the next decade if a new revenue source isn’t found.

So, between August 2024 and January 2025, the state concluded a major six-month Road Charge Collection Pilot. Participants tested various reporting methods, such as plug-in devices, odometer photos, or vehicle telematics, and were offered up to $400 in incentives to participate.  The California Assembly then passed Assembly Bill 1421, which directs the California Transportation Commission to synthesize all existing research into a final report due by January 1, 2027.

The ayatollahs and mullahs need not worry. Yet!

There is no set date for a mandatory tax. If the legislature decides to move forward after the 2027 report, implementation likely wouldn’t begin until late 2027 or 2028, with full integration potentially taking until 2035.

If you don’t like Washington and Oregon as possible drone targets, I would suggest picking any blue state as an alternative. They all carry a “FUBAR” designation and are, therefore, prime candidates for drone strikes.

By the way, if you don’t know what “FUBAR” means, just ask any military veteran. They will be happy to enlighten you.

Meanwhile, captive California serfs like me will continue to wear T-shirts with the words “Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot” emblazoned across the front.

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